Back in black
I'M BACK, BABY! I'M BACK! In Sydney, that is. Me and Zeff set off yesterday morning, with his car crammed so full of my stuff it started springing leaks.
Actually, the only leak was in the radiator hose, resulting in an empty radiator and a very hot engine which we didn't notice until we were driving along a barren stretch of road about 200 km from Armidale. Being at the top of a hill there were no creeks or anything to get more water from, so we tipped in a tiny bit of water that was in a nearby discarded bottle, and patched up the hose with tape from one of my boxes. The water did bugger all. We gradually made our way down the hill with the engine and the brakes heating up rapidly, causing us to stop a few times. The cops even drove past us while we were standing around with the bonnet up, and the fat pricks didn't even stop to help us.
After about 5 km or so we found a dam (with cow shit all around it) and filled up the radiator with the dirty dam water. This allowed us to get to Gloucester where we fixed the hose a bit better, using a rubber glove and hose clamps.
When we got to Sydney we had a hard time figuring out where the hell to go. We eventually made it to Doff's place and hung out there for a while, drinking cheap goon and filling up on meat pizza which made us fart all night. Later we went to a pub where Doff's sister was singing in a band. When I say "pub", what I mean is "blatant rip-off venue". One schooner of James Squire was $4.70. Not wanting to spend our life savings on beer, we went out to find a bottle shop to buy some reasonably priced beer. We got two longnecks but neglected to notice that they were crown-sealed, and we didn't have a bottle opener. We opened them by putting the edge of the bottle caps on a door handle and whacking the bottle down, to force off the lid. Of course, what in fact happened was the tops of the bottles broke off.
Picture the scene: three of us in a dirty alley near the pub, sculling from broken bottles of beer. Who said city life wasn't sophisticated?
After the gig we wandered off through the city, fending off invitations to peep shows from people standing outside dark doorways with stairs leading down to God-knows-what. We wandered down to darling harbour, started walking along a big raised road, ran over to the other side and came down some stairs to a tram stop. We wandered out onto the road where we hung around on the median strip while I danced and sang whatever fragments of Dani California I could remember. Several cars drove past.
Then we started wandering towards where I used to live and ended up walking into some kind of service entrance. A few cars were parked around the place and a tunnel led to what I thought would be another part of darling harbour. We went through and ended up behind some vending machines with cage-like sections preventing people from getting in where we were. Which was annoying, because it prevented us from getting out. Thankfully we managed to climb over one of the machines and ended up outside the Maritime Museum. Nearby, there was a barge moored at the edge of the water so we jumped on, sat around on it for a while and then left. Stealing some rope.
I used to live several blocks from where we were, so I knew my way around pretty well. Nevertheless, Zeff and Doff persisted in asking everyone they saw how to get to Glebe Point Road, despite the fact that I already knew how to get there. My favourite response was "it's in Glebe." We eventually made our way towards Glebe, taking a detour across the waterfront to vandalise stuff. Lots of construction work was being done there, so we had to get through lots of fences and safety hazards. We found lots or starposts holding up that orange netting stuff that councils always use, and javelinned them into the water. We also frisbeed a few tiles in there and heaved giant rocks to make huge splashes.
Eventually we got back to Doff's place where I went to sleep pretty much straight away.
This morning the three of us drove to my dad's place to drop off all my stuff. The trouble is that there was only room for two people. To make room, we piled stuff up so high that Zeff couldn't see out the back, leaving just enough room for Doff in the back seat. On the drive over here we had to keep looking out the sides telling him if it was safe to change lanes.
Of course, the first thing I unpacked when I got here was my computer.
I'm back, bitches.
Actually, the only leak was in the radiator hose, resulting in an empty radiator and a very hot engine which we didn't notice until we were driving along a barren stretch of road about 200 km from Armidale. Being at the top of a hill there were no creeks or anything to get more water from, so we tipped in a tiny bit of water that was in a nearby discarded bottle, and patched up the hose with tape from one of my boxes. The water did bugger all. We gradually made our way down the hill with the engine and the brakes heating up rapidly, causing us to stop a few times. The cops even drove past us while we were standing around with the bonnet up, and the fat pricks didn't even stop to help us.
After about 5 km or so we found a dam (with cow shit all around it) and filled up the radiator with the dirty dam water. This allowed us to get to Gloucester where we fixed the hose a bit better, using a rubber glove and hose clamps.
When we got to Sydney we had a hard time figuring out where the hell to go. We eventually made it to Doff's place and hung out there for a while, drinking cheap goon and filling up on meat pizza which made us fart all night. Later we went to a pub where Doff's sister was singing in a band. When I say "pub", what I mean is "blatant rip-off venue". One schooner of James Squire was $4.70. Not wanting to spend our life savings on beer, we went out to find a bottle shop to buy some reasonably priced beer. We got two longnecks but neglected to notice that they were crown-sealed, and we didn't have a bottle opener. We opened them by putting the edge of the bottle caps on a door handle and whacking the bottle down, to force off the lid. Of course, what in fact happened was the tops of the bottles broke off.
Picture the scene: three of us in a dirty alley near the pub, sculling from broken bottles of beer. Who said city life wasn't sophisticated?
After the gig we wandered off through the city, fending off invitations to peep shows from people standing outside dark doorways with stairs leading down to God-knows-what. We wandered down to darling harbour, started walking along a big raised road, ran over to the other side and came down some stairs to a tram stop. We wandered out onto the road where we hung around on the median strip while I danced and sang whatever fragments of Dani California I could remember. Several cars drove past.
Then we started wandering towards where I used to live and ended up walking into some kind of service entrance. A few cars were parked around the place and a tunnel led to what I thought would be another part of darling harbour. We went through and ended up behind some vending machines with cage-like sections preventing people from getting in where we were. Which was annoying, because it prevented us from getting out. Thankfully we managed to climb over one of the machines and ended up outside the Maritime Museum. Nearby, there was a barge moored at the edge of the water so we jumped on, sat around on it for a while and then left. Stealing some rope.
I used to live several blocks from where we were, so I knew my way around pretty well. Nevertheless, Zeff and Doff persisted in asking everyone they saw how to get to Glebe Point Road, despite the fact that I already knew how to get there. My favourite response was "it's in Glebe." We eventually made our way towards Glebe, taking a detour across the waterfront to vandalise stuff. Lots of construction work was being done there, so we had to get through lots of fences and safety hazards. We found lots or starposts holding up that orange netting stuff that councils always use, and javelinned them into the water. We also frisbeed a few tiles in there and heaved giant rocks to make huge splashes.
Eventually we got back to Doff's place where I went to sleep pretty much straight away.
This morning the three of us drove to my dad's place to drop off all my stuff. The trouble is that there was only room for two people. To make room, we piled stuff up so high that Zeff couldn't see out the back, leaving just enough room for Doff in the back seat. On the drive over here we had to keep looking out the sides telling him if it was safe to change lanes.
Of course, the first thing I unpacked when I got here was my computer.
I'm back, bitches.
posted by Middlerun at 4:10 PM
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