Fun with 40-year-old chatbots

Chatterbots are good for a laugh. Even when they were made in 1966:

>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> I'm crazy.
Is it because you are crazy that you came to me ?
>> Yes.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> No, I'm not.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> No.
You are being a bit negative.
>> I'm not.
How long have you been not ?
>> Seven years.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> That's because you suck.
Is that the real reason ?
>> Yes.
You are sure.
>> Indeed I am.
Do you believe it is normal to be ?
>> Yes, most people are .
I see.
>> Not really.
Please go on.
>> Bitch.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That you are giving me the shits.
What makes you think I am giving you the shits ?
>> The strong urge I am getting to kill you.
Do you enjoy being getting to kill I ?
>> Very much.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> I would prefer action to discussion if it's all the same to you.
In what way ?
>> The way in which I prevent you from continuing your sad life.
Perhaps in your fantasies we prevent each other.
>> You certainly do prevent me from not being pissed off.
Why do you think I yes do prevent you ?
>> That's not even a sentence.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> YOU'RE ONE TO TALK
Does it please you to believe I am one to talk ?
>> I need not believe it.
What would it mean to you if you got not believe it ?
>> Again - not a sentence. Learn to talk.
Please go on.
>> Just fuck off, will you?
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> Not really.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That you will burn in hell for all eternity.
Oh, I will burn in hell for all eternity ?
>> ...yes. I just said that.
I understand.
>> It's about time.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> (sigh) Goodbye.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.

Hurrr

It's been a while since I posted anything particularly informative or entertaining here. WHY? Because I am always too tired from work to bother. Same reason I haven't drawn any comics in weeks. Working blows ass.

Look what I did to a car at work today:



It cost them $400 to replace the damaged parts.

I blame sleep deprivation!

Also kudos to whatever journalist first came up with the idea of starting a new paragraph for every sentence.

Fotografy is phun

Here are some amusing photos I have taken recently:


Stash of pornos at work.


Amusingly named public internet terminal.


A car at work laughs at me.


Wanker number plate.


Wall decoration at work (NSFW!).

As I knew it would be

OK, so my promise to update the comic this weekend was a lie. Big woop, wanna fight about it?

On second reading, it wasn't really a promise. I'm off the hook!

Obligatory Snakes on a Plane post

Since I have a blog, the unspoken rules of the inter-webs dictate that I must do at least one post about Snakes on a Plane. I have this to say:

It was great!

I know this is old news, since it's been out for several weeks, but when have I ever been with the times? Anyway: SoaP is the kind of movie you either love or hate. But those who hate it are missing the point. Of course it's stupid! Of course it's the same as every other action movie! But there's one crucial difference: The whole movie is just straddling the edge of self-parody. You come away not totally sure whether it was so dumb and formulaic because the writer is a hack, or it was so very dumb and formulaic because the writer is an absolute genius. I prefer the latter explanation, and I present the following evidence:

• A chick gets bitten on the nipple.
• A guy gets bitten on the dick and yells something along the lines of "bitch, get the fuck off my dick!"
• They included the line "I have had it with these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!", which, as any informed person knows, originated on the internet as parody.
• A tiny explosive device was used to release the snakes, demonstrating the ease at which the bad guy whose name I have forgotten could have simply blown up the plane.
• Read the title.

As you can see, SoaP makes absolutely no pretense about what it is, unlike pretty much every other dumb action movie, and that's what makes it great.

In other news: Sorry about missing the last two installments of The Hallucinogenic Cookbook. I'll hopefully have a new strip up by the end of this weekend. In the meantime, read someone else's.