You just know it can be traced back to a specific lawsuit

Here's another instalment of what is becoming an ongoing series of funny crap I see at uni. I was using the restroom in the physics building when this highly informative sticker on the wall behind the toilet caught my eye:



Seems a little redundant. If you don't know how to shit properly, you probably shouldn't be going to university.

Out of curiosity I checked a different stall and found one that wasn't ripped, with its helpful advice intact:



One can only assume the stickers have been put in place to combat the recent wave of students squatting on the toilets while they drop some friends off at the pool, only to shatter the delicate porcelain bowl and break their legs/arses. I guess I should report the torn sticker, before some innocent person forgets what to do when they pinch a loaf and ends up paraplegic. It's easy to see why it was ripped, of course: someone tried to steal the sticker so they could put it up at home to remind themselves of proper pooping protocol.

For a limited time*, a percentage** of all PayPal donations to me will go the the Royal Society for Prevention of Crapping Accidents***. Remember: Only YOU can prevent senseless toilet-based calamities!

* So limited, in fact, that the deadline has already passed.
** 0%.
*** Organisation may not exist.